I got a man for Xmas

Not really, but a childhood friend of my brother who used to live next door to us came for a visit...mama woke me up to let me know...thank goodness I had did something to my hair b4 I went back to bed. Mama was cooking and left me downstairs with him. I don't think she realize how much I lust this man...the only downside is that he's married, but if he was single again....I've seen the dick before. He's never fucked me, but yea. He's been married twice. I actually knew his first wife cause while he was still married to the first wife he stayed in the house he grew up in. I saw him a few months ago cause he works for MARTA{our public transportation} and I was passing through one of the stations. I was going to use the restroom, but when he saw me and we started talking. I kinda held it til I got home. Apprantly I didn't have to go that bad. LOL!

::fanning myself::

Merry Xmas to me.

Sexual thoughts and dreams I'm thinking of right about now and I have no one to share it with

So earlier I was listening to the recording of Rawdawgbuffalo's last episode which was all about sex and "dick training a woman" "Dickmatizing a woman", etc.

It automatically made me wonder a general question of "Did I really ever have a discussion about sex with my mom." I seriously think I didn't or she didn't say anything that sorta stuck in my mind.

Now that I am at 32 and she is 63 she loved to assume stuff about me whether it's true or not. For one thing she is convinced I have naked pictures on the internet somewhere. I did, but I'll be damned if I am gonna admit to that. Actually I think they all disappeared once this one site I was a member of shut down for whatever reason...I loved that site even if I was the token black girl, I wasn't the only one, but the only one that participated on the forums and galleries.

I didn't start having sex til I was 21 or 22. I believe I was 21. I haven't been with many guys..maybe 6 or 7 in the past 11 yrs.

My first look at porn was the Playboy channel. Even at I wanna say 6, I was always mad that I wasn't able to see the man's dick. I will not comment on when I actually saw one cause that's a whole 'nother story, but yea I was pissed off cause EVERY chick that ever gave a dude a BJ had long hair which prevented the viewer from seeing anything.{I did not know at the time that was considered soft porn} I know I was too young to be watching that, but when you had a bootleg cable box that you had to unscramble to get channels then you tried to see whatever you could. I still semi support playboy by buying certain clothing itens and etc which prompted me an offer of free playboy mags for a year...every year for the past maybe 2-3 years I have received them as long as I don't turn in a post card saying for them not to. I usually forget anyway.

I need to go take a shower, but that is not gonna make me feel any better,.