Out with mama....

My plan was to leave the house, go get my breeze card, go by lennox & look around for somethings. I did wanna go back to Bath & Body works for something. Last night mama offered to take me to the job. I will never decline a free ride that would take me 2 hours to get to by bus. We ended up at Ross afterwards. I hate that she is the type to ask me where I wanna go, but then turn around and tell me where we are going. I wasn't gonna bother to answer either way. I hate going to Ross, it reminds me of store where other stores drop off their unwanted or over stocked stuff. It's too messy for me. I like Marshalls though. She found some cute stuff for me and I bought some things, but yea. My excitement level goes way down once I enter that store.

I like Wal-mart, I love Target for some reason. Maybe its because of the one I frequent near Lennox/Phillips.

We went to get something to eat. Captain D's by the westend & a dozen of assorted Donuts at Krispy Kreme was cause the hot light is not on yet.

Weight rant

I've been want to have flatter abs, but working on my own is not working so I decided to get a personal trainer. I start on Friday. The only person who honestly comments about my weight{ALOT} is my mama. Keeps saying if I keep eating then I'll end up like her, she not all that big, but in away I don't wanna get any bigger, I'm already pushing 155. I'm used to being at 140 something, but I guess my metabolism is slowing up. I really wish she would stop pinching at my damn sides. If she wasn't my mama she'd get hit.

The trainer wants me to write down everything I eat and drink. I'm gonna start today & just eat small portions of dinner and see if that helps.

Speech Therapy

I've always attended Speech Therapy since I started school until I graduated HS. A way to get out of class for awhile was good enough for me. During my Sr. year me and my teacher agreed that I would just practice on the letters and sound I had prob with, which are D, S, T , & the 2 TH sounds. During that time I "fell in love" with Ryan Cameron's show on the radio and whenever I got a chance to be on either his show or this other one called "Ralph From Ben Hill" I'd taped it and play it for my teacher. We'd basically go over my mistakes because I am never that conscious of how I pronounce things as I'm talking. I hate the sound of my voice at times however there are shows I like to call into & when I finally hear myself after it's posted I'm either cringing or seriously listening to myself. I'm conscious in the beginning, but after a minute or 2 I forget.I honestly miss it.

Short Work Week

Which consist of me being off Thursday and Friday. I'm getting my hair done Wednesday. A part of me is majorly excited cause of my b.day, but the other part of me knows I will not do anything real special on the day of. I'm suppose to go out Saturday, but I keep thinking that I REALLY don't wanna go out. I wonder if going out Friday will be bad. He is not a boyfriend, I don't celebrate Valentine's Day and neither does he so.....I dunno. I only crave for acknowledgment from people, not everybody, but yea. I don't like cake as much as I used to. I'm already requesting a big cookie. Mama has turned me down, she said last year was the last time she was getting me one. I'm still hoping for one anyway.

I need to see if I can get a free lunch from my fave eating spot even though they failed to send me an email. First year this has happened. I've been more overly excited in the past 3 years than I ever have.

Can we be friends?

When it comes to approaching guys I don't...unless I see that person on a regular basis eventually I will socialize. A couple of years ago when I was really trying to be to myself & everytime I did meet someone & mentioned that, they wasn't trying to hear it. They weren't really trying to get to know me first, they were looking for a girlfriend or just wanted some ass. Now...it's sorta different.I know some guys I consider my friends and who aren't trying to be my man, well one of them has a girlfriend anyway even though I find him attractive. I'm at a point now where I wouldn't mind being in a relationship, but I'm not the type who feels lonely not being in one. don't get me wrong, I have my days, but it's not that crucial to me.

::exhale::

I swear I had more to this, but I can't even concentrate right now.

One of the men in my life besides my daddy and my brother

There are very few men who I have a CRUSH on.

One in particular works here at Emory, he's part of the clean up crew. I used to see him as I'm coming in, but I hadn't seen him since b4 Xmas I think. I saw him this morning. He likes to give me a hug everytime he sees me, he started it. I have never denied him. He will literally follow me to make sure he gets it. Like I seriously went into one office and as I was coming out there he was. He give good hugs. My problem, he got a girlfriend. He knows I like him. I've confessed it...a few times. It takes me awhile to even tell a guy I like him. One day he kissed me on the cheek. Did not expect that! He said at that time he hadn't seen me in awhile and he missed me. He's cool people. He's kinda cute and tall. I LOVE men that are 6 feet and over. If he's a lil shorter than that, that's fine. 5'6" is how far I'll go with that based on a friend's height and my comfort level with that height. FYI, I'm 5'9".

Children

I always wanted atleast 1 child, I like children, there are very few of them that I just adore. I'm always claiming other people's kids as my nieces or nephews. I actually have a nephew, he's 18 now. I figured that by the time I was married I'd have some. I still think about that. I even have names picked. I've always had names picked out. The thought of being someone's babymama does not interest me, I wanna be that person's wife, then the mother of their child or children. 7 years ago all that probably would have happened. A few years 30 was my cut off age. I said that because that's how old my mama was when she had me. Being 30 meant more to me than being 21. It's almost 3 years later, now I'm thinking 40...most definatly, if my personal life doesn't change by then I'm just gonna have to accept being childless and just be someone's aunt.

Stolen...{this entry is longer than I expected.}

What's really going on? Torrance just tweeted that his shop and the shops around him got robbed this morning.

I forgot when she said it happened, but my friend April, her Apt. got robbed either Xmas night or the day after. Broke up stuff. She had her rent money in her dresser drawer. They took that some money she had in her piggy bank & destroyed some stuff. I'm slightly disturbed at the fact she had ther rent money at the house instead of on her even if she had planned to pay her rent b4 the first.

Someone tried to steal my dad's car a month or 2 ago. They didn't get too far cause of the crazy way my day's gears are. They busted out the driver's side window. My brother put an alarm in for him. He's never had one in ANY of his cars b4. We've had another one stolen along time ago.

I will never forget back in maybe 95 or 96. I forgot, Since I caught the bus to school I'd be the last to leave, mama would already be at work & she'd call to make sure I'm up. I always kept my door close. At the time my bedroom was upstairs . As soon as I got off the phone and was starting to get up I heard something go "Boom!" I stood still for a minute and heard footsteps, someone had managed to go into my brother's old room which is right next to mine. I wasn't thinking, I opened my door and started to scream. I scared them. I don't even know how many there were. I try to peek out to see what I could, I call 911 explain what was going on and mentioned that they had a U-haul truck, she was like "A U-Haul truck?" I said year. Later a friend of my mom would confiirm what I saw cause he said he may have saw them hours earlier.
After the call, I called mama then she called my daddy. I don't even remember who got there first. There were no fingerprints to be lifted. I still neded up going to school, dad took me. I would like to end it here, but I can't. My aunt babysat the house cause they busted the frame off the door and you couldn't lock it. As she was watching tv she noticed someone walking to the tool shed and kicking THAT door in, in the back yard, she yells out, what are you doing? He says, "nothing ma'am" & starts running, she runs after him. Apprantly he had someone wating on him and that's how he made his escape.

::exhale::

What is really going on?

Tattoos

I have 3,



The first one I got was almost 10 years ago, a couple of days b4 my b.day.



Years b4 I got it I had a fake tat on my ankle, it was of a butterfly, I thought it was so pretty and made up my mind I'd get one when I was older, years went by and finally one day after school I decided to go ahead and do it, but by that time I wanted a rose, but I wasn't sure if I could get them combined and after looking around the shop I saw a design of a butterfly/rose combo.

The artist designed the inside of the butterfly's wings different, colored it different, and the rose slightly bigger. I loved it dearly til almost 3 years ago when I got 2 more. I didn't think I'd get these 2 in the same day, but I did.

The most current ones are ~V~ {just exactly how I typed with shades of orange in it.}
The other one has the first initial of my parent's names, a heart in the center, & the year they were married in the center of the heart. I wanted to get it b4 one of them passes away cause I wanted to have a tribute tat instead of waiting til they die then getting a memorial one.

I need to get the older one touched up, it's not faded, but I think it's time. They don't interfere with my job cause you can't see them. One on my left arm, one on my right arm, the parent tat on left leg.

Driving

I've never had a driver's license, but I've had 2 different cars bought for me, once I had a '87 Gray Mustang that my brother bought for me. The 2nd one is a silver Buick Skylark that my mom bought for me. I never officially drove the Mustang due to issue in trying to get the official papers so it could be put into our name.

The Skylark, it is used by my brother. one of his many cars now. I do have a lerner's and have had one off and on for the past 16yrs. I want one of those new Volkwagon bugs. I'm ok with riding the bus and train, I guess cause I have since I was 18 and was starting college. If I could just drive from my house to the train station I'd be cool with that. I'll do it one day. I'm not making it a resolution, but I'll try and get it done.

Hello 2009

I've been up since 12 noon, Babz is the only reason I stayed up til midnight, I stayed up til about 1am and I called it a night.

I helped mama out a lil in the kitchen, looking/listening to Twilight zone marathon, listening to "Gentleman's Guide To Midnite Cinema" podcast. I gotta go back to work tomorrow. ::breathe::

It's been a laidback day.

Internet shopping{random purchases}, Happy that I got paid today instead of tomorrow.

I may just watch a dvd later.

Wishing for good and happiness for the new year.